Consumerism, greed and generic gluttony have collided to create the previous age of conspicuous consumption. It is this transaction and accumulation oriented age of the deal that has now birthed the age of the empty suit. The passionate pursuit of new experiences and greater ownership has created societies stuffed full of emptiness, and leaders unknown to and unaware of themselves. Leaders have only become as good as the deal they can strike, the payoff they receive. Every action is made in anticipation of a return. It is as if leaders are investing their lives in a cosmic vending machine in the hopes of receiving good but unarticulated benefits as compensation. The first of many problems in this scenario is that leaders stop doing things from a sense of identity or principle and begin to form a reality that is based on quid pro quo. In a this-for-that culture, I will give you this when I know what that is. Immersed in this culture, when that which leaders will receive in return is unclear, leaders tend not to act. So, short-term mindsets become the standard. These mindsets also contribute to the rampant fear-based paradigm of risk avoidance. This risk aversion culminates in the fear to create raw innovation – so organizations now create new applications and add-on products, and no one is creating new industries, inventions and products that don’t already easily fit into an existing category. And we wonder why the global economy is in ruin?

The reward for becoming the proud owner of all that can be bought is deep despair, diminishing returns, and emptiness. The way out is to become solid in your own identity and principles, to know what purpose is worthy of your complete surrender, to know what you will do in this world with no promise of a return. Flawless leaders live courageously and make decisions based in the solidness of their own identity and principles, from a sense of strength and rightness, an unfortunately rare thing in these parts. Flawless leaders are the proud owners of all that cannot be bought.

What purpose is worthy of your surrender? What will you do in this life with no promise of a return?

Managers operate in the relatively easy content area of what needs to be done and measured –that which can be easily seen. Leaders operate in the motivational human behavioral areas of Why are we doing this? What is meaningful? Who am I? Do I matter? Do I want to struggle and commit? Do I need to share my power with this group? –the areas which are unseen, or at best a shadow.

Leadership is easily ignored because it deals with the invisible. Is leadership real or is it a shadow? Is the shadow of leadership more substantial or meaningful than the content of what is actually being accomplished? When leadership is relegated to the easily ignored warm and fuzzy arena, what is lost? In reacting to these questions, we create our approach to leadership –our collective behaviors: the part of us with which others live.

When it comes to leadership, the unseen is more important that the seen. Bad attitudes, low motivation, poor cooperation, ulterior motives, etc. ruin organizations of any and all types, yet we cannot see them and they cannot be measured well. These are the results of flawed leadership and these are the areas that really irritate the measuring managers.

When I ask CEOs, “What behavior changes are required from your leaders to bring long-term success to your organization?” Their answers are never around measurement or execution because those are such shallow and short-term skills. They are usually about the immensely difficult areas of collaboration, communication, coordination, relationship, and motivation. These are all concept areas that cannot be seen –the invisible.

When will we stop wasting time on the shallow stuff and get into the deep waters of flawless leadership? What are your defenses against leading –that which prevents you from tackling the difficult stuff? What does it take for you to work in the shadows of authentic leadership?

Authentic humility is the bedrock essence of a flawless leader. However strenuously we strive for relevance, we are rarely really relevant. It is high time leaders not only accept this but also embrace it. Embracing irrelevance is a holy reverence for the equality of all humans. Most leaders are constantly in search of their own relevance and thus are chained to illogical and unarticulated fantasies of being God. They think they should lead because they are “the best choice for the job,” they have been “appointed.” When we embody the paradigm of constant relevance we repel followers because they sense our need to be dominant, however covert our condescension may be. Our past accomplishments and accolades shallowly support our self-pertinence. Leading and following are intensely “present-time” sensitive. Followers disregard past track records once they are with you in the moment’s current affliction. In our present anxiety, our past triumphs melt feverishly into triviality. Flawless leaders reject continuous relevance because they have chosen a lifelong submission to authentic service and meaningful purpose.

With which of your accomplishments do you over-identify? What is it like for others attempting to relate with you and your ego? What purpose is worthy of your surrender?

Leaders fail when they are toxic; succeed when they are healing. In order to heal, leaders must tap the wellspring of their own brokenness. This brokenness is too easily ignored because leaders assume that a perfect resume matters. The problem with the pedigree and accomplishments list of the resume is that leadership is a “present time-period game”. The past is largely irrelevant to those with us in the current tempests and afflictions. Those with us in the present want connection and competence. If you are lost out on wild water, they want to know if you can paddle with them, not what credentials you have. They want to reach out and touch you and feel what your accomplishments have made in you. They want to feel what the deeper story has made in you. The deeper story lies far beneath the accomplishments. Henri Nouwen said, “Beneath all the great accomplishments of our time there is a deep current of despair. While efficiency and control are the great aspirations of our society, the loneliness, isolation, lack of friendship and intimacy, broken relationships, boredom, feelings of emptiness and depression, and a deep sense of uselessness fill the hearts of millions of people in our success-oriented world.” What followers want to know now, today, is who are you? Have you navigated the scary deep waters and did it change you? How will your knowledge of the bone-breaking deep waters help to heal them?

Only through connection to and deep understanding of their own pain can leaders heal that which is broken in others. Leadership is not the coercion of cosmetic compliance, but the stimulation of willful engagement and convergent collaboration among followers. The assumed strength we think we have from our inauthentic armor plating actually shields us from the greater power of vulnerability. Paradoxically, a flawless leader’s hidden strength is in appropriate vulnerability, not in competitive conquests and pinnacle positions. Flawless leaders speak authentically from the heart, not from behind slick perception management techniques. There is neither perfect leader nor perfect follower. The best we can be is the broken leading the broken. When a bone is broken, then set and healed well, it becomes strongest at that point. We, too, can become strong through our collections of healed brokenness. The wounded make the best healers, and those who remember well their scars make the best leaders.

When are you a toxic leader?

What are your wounds and scars? What wounds have not yet healed?

What strengths do you have because of your wounds?