The age of conspicuous consumption, the transaction-accumulation age of the deal has culturally birthed the age of the empty suit, lost leaders in search of identities. Our societies and citizens are stuffed full of emptiness, and too many leaders are largely unknowable, distant and unaware. Leaders have become as good as the deal they strike, the payoff they receive, the package they negotiate. Actions, even lives, are crafted on alters of cosmic vending machines in hopes of many happy returns. In all this phenomenal success, meaning is more marginalized, purpose more diminished. Integrity was not on the shelf as often or priced as cheaply before the age of the deal. It is now rare to find someone who has not been infected, a leader who is the proud owner of everything that cannot be bought, a soul who is not for sale. The flawless leader has rejected the seductions that 1) people are objects, 2) control trumps trust, and 3) identity is based in accomplishment. An unfortunate side effect of our quid pro quo culture is the commoditization of our integrity.

Objectification

Studies tell us the shelf life of the average CEO is less than four years. Integrity priced too cheaply and made too widely available is too often the culprit. The primary symptom of bread-and-milk integrity pricing is leaders viewing people as the means to their ends and not ends in and of themselves. Viewing people as means is equivalent to viewing them as objects, not equals. Objectifying people is rampant in our societies and is a projection of low self worth and self-hate. The narcissistic CEO who objectifies others as means to their ends typically suffers from self-hate and low self-esteem. People with high self worth do not prostitute themselves or others so easily.

Control

Between the rooms of fear and faith there is the door of choice. On that door is the doorknob of control. Our affinity for control locks us in fear, separated from the possibility of a powerful life of faith. Control is the enemy of trust. Trust is not the answer to everything, but for relationship to occur it is essential. Leadership is relationship. Leaders who believe control trumps trust tend to be isolated micromanagers, devoid of depth, and lacking powerful relationships. Control is often necessary and effective in organizations and societies, but it’s often misapplied to leadership. Flawless leaders sequester control in favor of trust in relationships.

Identity

We are human-beings not human-doings. If you are what you do, then when you don’t you aren’t. Accomplishment is important – hey, we need to get stuff done, but it is not who we are. Who you are is your answer to the question of life. It is the only appropriate answer to every question we face, especially the tough ones. What you do flows from who you are. The age of the deal has glorified competence over identity. We now have empty suits that can condescendingly execute complex tasks, but have no idea who they are or what is right and what is wrong. Our ethics and morality have been summarily sacrificed on the alters of our missing identities.

Flawless leaders have struggled with the wrenching question, “What will I do in this life with no expectation of a return?” They can discuss the question, “Who am I” without talking about where they work and what they do. The solidity of their identity creates depth in their relationships, synchronized convergent effort by willing followers, emblazoned service to worthy purpose, and a sense of deep-water satisfaction that is lacking in the kiddie pools full of empty suits.

The fires of our discontent are found within our unquenchable desires for more. Nowhere does this discontent rage fiercer than in the engulfing flames of our weak over-indulgence, our gluttony. Leaders often choose to burn contentment in the bonfires of gluttony. Our conspicuous consumptions and illogical wishes are the unfortunately stressful byproducts of our capitalistic democracies, our extortionist organizations, our self-absorbed cultures, and our fears of our unknown self. On a planet where fifty percent of the people have no shoes, have never made a telephone call, and will never read this page, discontent of mythical proportions broods hysterically among those who have countless shoes, phones and reading materials. We hear the cries of gluttony everyday, “Enough is never enough,” “Mommy, I want that – now!” “Gotta do more, gotta be more,” “You deserve it – you can have it all,” “We must never be satisfied,” “There is no finish line.” Our cultures of credit cards, mortgages, “keeping up with the Joneses,” and ever increasing salaries and revenue targets continually feed this well hidden dysfunction. The problem, however, with discontent and gluttony is that it robs us of our power, the power of authentic and actionable identity.

Gluttony is the strongest defense we have against contentment. Contentment must be defended against because it’s scary, for we can only be content when we abandon blame and judgment and unconditionally accept ourselves for who we are and what we are doing. Authentic contentment does not include satisfaction and complacency; it is an unadulterated acceptance of our current reality and an actionable agreement with our current objectives. This self-acceptance entails acute awareness, exacting alignment of intention and behavior, courage, and forgiveness: a rare recipe in kitchens these days. Gluttony wouldn’t be a root cause to leader dysfunction if it didn’t captivate so much of our attention and deflect us from the truly meaningful. Our blind grasping of ill-defined accumulations prevents us from our most powerful and enduring interventions: identity and purpose.

T.D. Jakes, a contrarian voice, said, “Contentment is the apex of existence.” When we are satisfied with ourselves we embody our own gift of “enough.” Contentment is the ultimate act of unconditional love and acceptance, the resulting joy and peace that come from meaningful identity and purposeful action. Few of us experience this because we swim with our heads barely above water in our own ocean of discontent, dissatisfaction, self-hate, and overall revenge for being born. Most organizations encourage these feelings because they use people as human resources, as inhumane means to an end. Gluttonous leaders preach to the masses that encouraging contentment would create laziness, resistance to change, and a culture coated with haphazard malaise. Most managers prefer to use fear and domination because to actually lead is risky and scary. These leaders are defending against honoring people as equals and leading through the power of resonating purpose. The gluttonous leader is weak and produces shallow, short-lived conquests, where the flawless leader brings enriching and enduring contributions. Contentment is quite possibly the most precious thing that gluttony cannot attain.

It is understandable that when we are not firmly grounded in “who we are” and “what we want” we react in fear by “wanting it all.” (The illogical assumption being that more and bigger must be better.) While it is understandable, it is also unacceptable. We fill our aching voids resulting from our lack of identity and vision with random, incoherent gluttony and greed. When we don’t know who we really are and what we really want out of life, then we reach out by trying to grab it all. Gluttonous leaders instinctively criticize, judge, and reject themselves and others, habitually supporting their gluttonous addictions in lieu of simple, scary self-acceptance. When we are gluttonous we have a lot, including regrets, resentments, self-hate and emptiness. This amounts to manufacturing our own harm via the shrinking of our life by smothering it with stuff: the more we get the less we are. Gluttony is the quintessential devaluing of our distinctive selves. Its seduction is the emotional high of shopping for more in the disguised department stores of our own discontent. Ironically, we also accumulate more dissatisfaction through our frenetic purchases, accomplishments, and conquests. Once we accumulate the new, we devalue it by ignoring it in pursuit of the more, or the new and improved. In the midst of our noisy gluttony, we avoid our heart’s quiet calling for contentment: know yourself, forgive yourself, accept yourself, love yourself, choose your destiny, live out your purpose with gusto.

Flawless leaders are irritants because they dare to strive for the contentment that can only result from authentic identity, resonating purpose and meaningful action. They are content with themselves, their actions, and the directions they have set. They accept reality, create the future, and forgive quickly. They are grounded in their identity because they are able to articulate who they are without mentioning what they do. Leadership is both who you are and what you do, but it all starts in who you are. Every decision flows from identity. Every answer to every question is another brick in the building of our uniqueness. Gluttony is the consummate defense against the power and productivity that only authentic identity and meaningful purpose can bring.

Who are you? Where are you? What resentments do you still hold toward yourself? What accumulations prevent you from living fully?

Consumerism, greed and generic gluttony have collided to create the previous age of conspicuous consumption. It is this transaction and accumulation oriented age of the deal that has now birthed the age of the empty suit. The passionate pursuit of new experiences and greater ownership has created societies stuffed full of emptiness, and leaders unknown to and unaware of themselves. Leaders have only become as good as the deal they can strike, the payoff they receive. Every action is made in anticipation of a return. It is as if leaders are investing their lives in a cosmic vending machine in the hopes of receiving good but unarticulated benefits as compensation. The first of many problems in this scenario is that leaders stop doing things from a sense of identity or principle and begin to form a reality that is based on quid pro quo. In a this-for-that culture, I will give you this when I know what that is. Immersed in this culture, when that which leaders will receive in return is unclear, leaders tend not to act. So, short-term mindsets become the standard. These mindsets also contribute to the rampant fear-based paradigm of risk avoidance. This risk aversion culminates in the fear to create raw innovation – so organizations now create new applications and add-on products, and no one is creating new industries, inventions and products that don’t already easily fit into an existing category. And we wonder why the global economy is in ruin?

The reward for becoming the proud owner of all that can be bought is deep despair, diminishing returns, and emptiness. The way out is to become solid in your own identity and principles, to know what purpose is worthy of your complete surrender, to know what you will do in this world with no promise of a return. Flawless leaders live courageously and make decisions based in the solidness of their own identity and principles, from a sense of strength and rightness, an unfortunately rare thing in these parts. Flawless leaders are the proud owners of all that cannot be bought.

What purpose is worthy of your surrender? What will you do in this life with no promise of a return?

To fully engage followers a leader must be fully whole. Unfortunately, we too often and unknowingly choose to fragment our lives, meticulously shattering our wholeness into secret collections of sharp chards. We often speak as though we are comprised of several liquid compounds, which cannot be combined, like salad dressing of oil and water and vinegar. “This is my personal life”, “this is my work life”, “this is my spiritual life”, “this is my family life”, “this is my public life”, “and this is my private life”. This is not organization; this is separation. To separate something out from the whole is to call it “sacred.” Leaders often fail by sacrilegiously creating sacred splinters from their inherent wholeness. We incrementally destruct our lives through sacredness. This habit of segregation and compartmentalization is rampant and pervasive in our societies. Some societies pride themselves on the separation of church and state while others feel honorable in the separation of a specific day or time as sacred and holy. But when we choose separation within one life, we usually cause harm.

When we separate out portions of our lives, we give away our rightful authority and make unconscious assumptions that control us. For instance, we assume that we are in charge of our personal life; our dark-side is in charge of our private life; either the boss, the board, the customer, the profits, or the shareholder is in charge of our work life; the family’s needs take over in our family life; and if we have a spiritual life than maybe God can have a say in that. By portioning out our lives we dilute our power as we defend against unity. It is no wonder so many feel less than whole.

Through our deconstructions we diminish. By dissection and separation, we relinquish wholeness, strength, freedom, and choice. In battle, effective strategists bisect their opponent’s forces, fragmenting their potential capacity. Weakness is the natural side effect of separation and isolation. Some battles are won just by severing the opponent’s ability to communicate between separated battalions. Similarly, through self-fragmentation we self-weaken. Through self-severing we self-diminish. Through our sacred separations we become our own silent saboteur; we embody our own worst enemy. We sacrifice fully living our wholeness. We dishonor others and ourselves by living less-than-whole and less-than-fully-present. We choose the slow suicide of self-shrinking. We choose to slice out a portion of life as sacred and unintentionally commit sacrilege. This pervasive sacrilege creates scattered splinters from what was a full oak of a life.

The immoveable reality is that we all have but one life and every minute occurs on holy ground. Every second is sacred; every moment a miracle. The awe and wonder that a unified, aligned life brings is wholly sacred and defies diminishment. Flawless leaders have no room for diminishing any life. For when one life is diminished, we are all diminished. Flawless leaders speak health into an ill and fractioned world by creating wholeness in their own lives: through living both contentment and submission to unique purpose. In what ways are you less than whole?